Golf Has Its Own Unqiue Language

Andrew Wood
3 min readMay 8, 2022

No need to learn Esperanto if you are a golfer for golf has its own unique language, e.g. birdies, bogies, shanks, and worm burners.

Sociologists call it a ‘restrictive code’ and it’s designed to re-inforce group solidarity. So we have big dog, flat stick, belly putter, cavity back, hosel, kickpoint, camber, off-set, niblick, mashie, brassie, bounce, flange and plenty of others.

And then there’s a unique and politically incorrect terminology which covers all manner of situations and all kinds of shots:

Adolf Hitler — Two shots in a bunker

Army golf — Left, right, left, right…

Arthur Scargill (UK union leader responsible for failed coalminers’ strike) Good strike, poor result

Anna Kournikova — Looked good, but no result

Bin Laden — Driven into the hills, never seen again

Bill Clinton — A succession of poor lies

Bing Crosby — Any excuse to get out of buying a drink at the 19th.

Brazilian — Shaved the edge

Knocked up — Felt good but not worth the trouble it’s got you into

Calista Flockhart — Thin, but looked OK

Colonel Gaddafi — Dangerous in sand

Condom — Safe but didn’t feel very good

Circus Tent — A big top

Cuban (Fidel Castro) — Needed one more revolution

Diego Maradona (famous Argentine soccer star)Fat but handy

Douglas Bader (famous British Second World War fighter pilot with two prosthetic legs) Looked good in the air but no legs

Durex — Play safe and don’t rip it

Elin Nordegren — Smashed an iron into woods

Eva Braun — Lying dead in a bunker

Gerry Adams — A provisional

Glen Miller — Kept low and didn’t clear the water

Hiroshima — A disaster on the sixth.

Jean-Marie Le Pen — Way right

Joe Pesci — A nasty 5-footer

John Wayne Bobbitt — A vicious slice, ended up short



Andrew Wood

Author & Marketing Legend with over 50 books :I write on: Marketing, Travel, Sales, Success, Biz, Leadership, Golf, Autos, Books, Events