Buying a Home in England is a Horrible Experience

Beautiful Sandwich, Kent. Sadly the process of buying a home anywhere in England is horrible.

Buying a home in the USA is simple, quick, and straightforward. I make an offer with a reasonable deposit to show I am serious, say 5% of the sales price. If the offer is accepted, it goes to escrow, and 30 days later, we close on the deal. I cannot be outbid, and the seller cannot refuse to sell. We have a legal deal and could be done in as little as two weeks.

The last apartment I bought in the UK took six months, and the one before four months. Both times I was a cash buyer who wanted a quick completion.

A Medieval System

Firstly, in England, a deal is not a deal until the final document changes hands. So even though we have agreed on a price, I could demand a discount at the last minute, or the seller could refuse to sell. What’s more, the seller is under no obligation to sell to me at the price we have agreed if he gets a better offer in the meantime. INSANE! No other business transaction in the world works on such a ridiculous premise. (Scotland has apparently moved into the 21st century and does not do this.)

Then there is a long drawn-out title search handled by solicitors (attorneys), which takes weeks or months. Oh, and you could easily be a few thousand dollars into this process when the seller backs out — tough luck. I know people who have had this happen multiple times.

Where Did the Money Come From?

Then there are the new money laundering rules designed to catch all those nefarious middle-aged couples trying to buy a flat for 200,000 pounds. While ignoring the thousands of Russian Oligarchs who turned London into Moscow on Thames.

The process is so flawed Monty Python could not have done better. The last two solicitors used an app called Thirdfort, which I am sure works well if you are a typical English couple buying a home, but if you don’t fit that profile, you are pretty much in for hours if not weeks of frustration.

Let’s say I tell them I got the money selling my $300,000 boat.

Ok, prove you sold the boat, they say.